The Strength of Hope
by simplymondler
Summary: An alternative version of TOW Chandler's Work Laugh set immediately after that tennis match. Mondler.
1. Chapter 1

The Strength of Hope

This takes place during season five's TOW Chandler's Work Laugh immediately after that tennis match and then goes very AU. It's 3 or 4 parts (depending on how long the epilogue turns out to be) but the rest is all written.

A/N - Hey guys, sorry I've been AWOL for a while- it's been pretty hectic around here. I'm looking forward to getting back into 'Mondler life' and catching up on all your stories!

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Chandler paced outside the changing rooms as he waited for her to finish, so _they_ could finish this stupid argument. Doug and Kara had already limped out of the building, holding onto each other for support and Chandler had barely been able to keep the fake smile plastered on his face until they were safely out of sight.

"I can't believe you let them win," Monica complained the second she stepped out into the foyer and spotted him.

"And I can't believe you made it so difficult," he retorted pissed. "It was just a dumb game for you, it didn't mean anything. If you want to humiliate someone invite Joey or Phoebe to play against us. Doug is my _boss;_ do you realize how inappropriate that was? How awkward you would have made it for me at work?"

"You hate your work," she shot back unrepentant.

"That's not the point!" he protested, frustrated at her stubbornness. "I still have to spend 7 hours a day there, I still have to maintain a relationship with a man that has the power to make my day to day life a living hell. You must understand that?"

"I play to win, Chandler, _you_ must understand _that_. You knew it before you invited me," she sounded just as annoyed and fired-up, which annoyed him further.

"I invited you because you're my girlfriend and I wanted us to have a good time together," he grated out.

"Well, you sure failed there," she sniped, shoving what was left of the rackets at him before she turned sharply and headed straight towards the exit.

"It sure looks that way," he muttered to no one, frustrated that she was mad at _him_. What reason did she have to be mad? It was _his_ work-thing she'd tried to ruin; _his_ boss she'd embarrassed; _his_ racket she had childishly broken.

Still muttering under his breath, he followed her out into the fresh air, frowning when he noticed she was walking in the direction of their apartments.

"Where are you going?" he called, annoyance still clear in his voice. "I thought we were gonna get something to eat?"

"Suddenly, I'm not feeling very hungry," she informed him, turning back to continue her fast pace.

"Fine," he shot back, "Well maybe I am."

"Then maybe _you_ should go eat," she shouted over her shoulder, not even bothering to turn to look at him this time.

"Fine maybe _I_ will," he retorted lamely to her back, watching her as she continued to stalk away.

Hands on hips he clenched his jaw, keeping his eyes on her but she didn't turn around, not once. When she was out of his sight he let out a frustrated growl, lashing out by kicking an innocent trashcan. He hated when they fought, especially over something like this.

Would it really have killed her to back off and lose just this one time?

Annoyed at how crappy his day had turned out, he headed towards the food joint they had planned to visit together. He wasn't really that hungry but he was frustrated and needed some time to get him out of this funk before he headed back.

After half-heartedly picking at his sandwich for well over an hour Chandler called it quits. He took the long way home, trying to enjoy the fresh air before he reached their apartment building. He had mostly gotten over their argument, putting it into perspective. It wasn't the end of the world. He would apologize to Doug tomorrow and if they ever got invited out again he would suggest something safe like dinner. And it's not like he hadn't manage to swing it, making them lose, so his boss still liked him, even if Monica didn't.

Monica.

She was competitive; she always had been ever since he'd known her, hell, he still had the scars from that Pictionary incident. Winning was entwined in her every fibre, and her unique drive and gritty determination was one of the many things he loved about her...even if he hadn't properly said the 'L' word yet.

Glancing at his watch as he took the stairs, he realized with regret that her shift would have already started by now, so he'd have to wait until later to make up with her. He grinned a little at the thought of make up sex tonight. Sex with Monica was always unbelievably hot but he knew this would have a little something extra thrown in.

He couldn't wait.

Trying to wipe the dirty grin from his face and the dirty thoughts from his mind, he opened the apartment door to see Ross sat at the kitchen counter reading the paper.

"Hey man," Chandler greeted.

"Hey," he glanced up at him, "What's with the rackets?"

"Oh, nothing really, I thought I'd just take them for a little trip around New York, ya know show them the sights and all that."

His friend just rolled his eyes in response.

"It was a work thing," he eventually clarified, "I had to play against the boss man."

Ross pulled a face, "Ouch, you let him win, right?"

At least one of the Gellers understood the importance of that minor detail.

"Yeah, though it wasn't easy and there were great sacrifices along the way," he pulled out his tennis racket, waving it in the air as proof and he tried to forget about the other sacrifice made.

They'd make up tonight. Everything would be fine.

"Aw that sucks," Ross took the broken equipment off him, studying it, "Looks beyond repair too. This reminds me of when we were young and Monica lost the game and her temper and smashed her racket...dad was not happy," he chuckled at the memory.

Slightly panicked he snatched the racket back, "Oh, well t-thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to be careful if I ever invite Monica to play with me...play _tennis_ with me...I mean," he swallowed uncomfortably.

Ross shot him a confused look, his eyes narrowing but luckily the phone rang, it's piercing shrill saving Chandler from the hot seat. Ross still kept his eyes on him for another beat before finally reaching and answering it.

Chandler let out a breath, indicating to his friend he was going to dump his gear in his room.

"Yes, this is Ross Geller. What?!"

His panicked tone caused Chandler to pause, turning to him with a questioning frown.

"Is she ok? I mean- Ok, ok we'll go straight to the hospital, um, thanks for letting me know."

"Ross?" Chandler questioned concerned the second the phone was down. When he received no answer he moved closer, taking in his friend's disbelieving stare. "Ross, what's going on?"

"Monica," Ross said worried, standing up quickly.

"Monica what?" he asked, his gut clenching in fear. "Ross!" he snapped, "What's going on?"

"She, uh, she collapsed at work, hit her head hard and lost consciousness; she's on her way to the hospital."

Chandler felt himself go as pale as his friend. Monica? Hospital? But she'd been fine, absolutely fine.

"We have to go," Ross said, snapping Chandler out of his shock. "I'll go see who's across the hall and then we can grab cabs or um...yeah...I...can you leave a note for Joey? He's at an audition and-"

"Sure," Chandler swallowed, still a little dazed and confused as he watched Ross run out the door, leaving him alone.

Monica was in hospital.

Monica.

With a trembling hand he reached out for the phone pen, the pen Monica had insisted on and even installed herself. There was a little piece of string looped and sellotaped around it to ensure it couldn't escape and leave the base of the phone. He stared at it, remembering how much he'd teased her about it and how good-humored she'd been, laughing back at him, her blue eyes bright as she'd shut him up with a kiss. Which had led to another and another...

Forcing himself to focus, he hastily scribbled a note to Joey which he hoped was readable and exited into the hallway. Phoebe and Rachel were already there as Ross emerged. They were all panicked, worry evident on their faces as they rushed down the stairs. Chandler stayed at the back, following them down as a surreal numbness started to spread through him.

He couldn't deal with their fear, couldn't deal with even the hint that Monica may not make it through this.

She had to.

He remained quiet in cab, his face fixed to look out the window but he didn't take anything in. He stared at everyone going about their day to day routine, like nothing earth shattering had happened in their worlds but his eyes weren't focussed on them, they weren't focussed on anything. He was vaguely aware of Rachel watching him carefully, studying him but chose to ignore her.

At the hospital they were shown into a waiting room and told a doctor would see them soon. Still zoned out, he sat down, still quiet, still staring at the floor. He could hear the others talking around him, hear their desperation for news as they came up with hypothetical theories as to what could have happened to her but he didn't join in, didn't speak, he couldn't.

Time seemed to slow down around him and he willed with all his being for there to be news, good news.

There couldn't be any other kind of news.

She had to be fine.

Had to be.

It was Monica.

"Are you the family of Monica Geller?"

Chandler jolted, staggering to his feet with the others as he stared at the nurse, knowing she had the power to change his whole world with her next words.

"I'm her brother, is she ok?"

"It's still early days, sir," the nurse spoke softly with that fake practised sympathy and real fear started to grip him. "We know she collapsed and hit her head hard. There was some swelling, so the doctors have induced a coma like state in order to ensure there's enough oxygen getting to her brain and other major organs."

He didn't understand. She had been fine. Fine. It was just a knock on the head. Why were they talking about comas and oxygen? It made no sense. His stomach tightened, he couldn't contemplate the words. He just needed to see her, see that she was ok with his own eyes.

"Can we see her?" he asked, cutting across the others' questions.

"I'm afraid that's not possible at the time. The doctors are busy running lots of tests, but as soon as there's any news I'll be sure to update you."

She offered them another apologetic smile before leaving the stunned friends alone.

"I can't believe this is happening," Ross mumbled, collapsing into the nearest chair. "I..."

"Have you phoned your parents?" Phoebe asked, sitting closely next to him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "they'll be here as soon as they can but they're visiting friends up state."

Chandler closed his eyes, his forefingers pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to block it all out. He couldn't believe this was happening, it was all too surreal. Suddenly out of nowhere she was in hospital in a coma and her parents were rushing out urgently to be here.

Denial was no longer working; this was serious.

Real.

Taking in a shuddering breath he sat back down in his plastic hard seat, opposite the others, keeping himself slightly detached. He could feel Rachel's eyes on him again and this time he looked at her briefly. She was looking at him with obvious regret mixed in with pity and he didn't like it. Too much was going on in his head to try and analyse what it meant so he went back to staring at the bland floor beneath his shoes.

As the minutes ticked by Chandler's thoughts got darker and more frantic. She had to be ok. He didn't think he could function without her. She was his world. Even before they became involved with each other, she was the one that brightened the room. She was the one he could tease and was his favorite person. Now that they were together everything had become that much better. He already couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Monica was who he wanted to grow old with and whilst yesterday that thought would have probably scared the bejesus outta him, right now he held onto it, praying desperately he'd get that chance.

"You ok?"

He blinked, surprised to find Rachel sitting next to him.

"I've been better," he muttered.

"If you wanna talk," she offered quietly and he frowned before shaking his head.

He didn't know what she knew or thought she knew, but _he_ knew for sure that he didn't want to talk. Talking wouldn't help. Talking wouldn't change what was happening. The thoughts in his head were spinning rapidly out of control and they scared him but at least they were contained. If he said them out loud it would make them real, too real. He wasn't ready for that.

Wordlessly he shook his head, going back to staring at the floor.

"Hey, what's going on?" Joey asked breathlessly bursting into the room.

Chandler remained silent as Phoebe filled him in. He watched as Joey grimaced, patting Ross' shoulder as his compassion-filled eyes landed on him. The secret boyfriend. Joey's eyes were filled with the same pity as Rachel's and he hated it.

"Don't worry," his roommate tried to reassure them all, "she's gonna make it, right? I mean she's a fighter."

Fighter.

The word struck a painful chord in his chest. She was a fighter. It was meant to be a good thing, a positive thing but images of their earlier heated argument pushed themselves to the front of his brain. What if their last conversation ever was a fight? A stupid fight over a stupid tennis game? He swallowed rapidly, remembering the harshly traded words. Fighter. God, what if she actually didn't make it? What if their last interaction with each other really was a fight? What if she still thought he was genuinely mad at her? Or what if she was still pissed at him? What if she was so annoyed by him she wasn't paying attention in the kitchen and that's how all this happened?

"You ok?" he blinked, looking up to find Joey the other side of him.

Silently he shook his head, not trusting his voice. He could feel Joey's concerned eyes on him, could feel Rachel's too the other side of him. He suddenly felt claustrophobic. He didn't want their support; it was all too much, too final. Feeling Rachel's hot hand on his knee, feeling it clamping down and burning his skin was too much, he couldn't take it any more.

He abruptly stood up, pacing in front of the chairs like a caged animal. He knew they were all looking at him but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered right now was Monica; was Monica pulling through; Monica forgiving him for their fight and staying with him forever and never leaving his side.

Suddenly the door opened and a tall thin doctor walked in, clipboard in hand.

"Mr Geller?"

Chandler's step faltered, his breath catching as Ross stood up, nodding, "That's me."

"Can I speak to you outside for a moment, please?"

Cold fear flooded through him. They needed to speak to the blood relative outside? He'd seen that in the movies and it was never good news. It was when they made decisions about turning off life support machines and-

"Um, you can say anything in front of them," Ross insisted as Rachel rubbed his arm.

The doctor looked them over briefly, as if assessing them.

"Please," Ross asked, "is she ok?"

The doctor eventually caved, "She seems to be responding well so far but I need to warn you it's still very early days." Chandler paid attention to his face and body language, trying to read in between the lines; he didn't look relaxed. He looked worried, grim and tired. "We have discovered part of the reason she collapsed. Her blood sugars were very low which affected..." he glanced at the others then back to Ross, "Did you know Miss Geller's pregnant?"

Chandler froze, shock and disbelief crashing through him. Pregnant? Monica was pregnant? They'd created a baby together?

"Pregnant?" he heard Ross ask in the distance. "No, I didn't, I..."

"Are you sure?" Phoebe asked surprised.

"Yes, very sure. It's quite possible she didn't know herself as the embryo is in the very early stages of development. Look, I'll be back when we get some more results," he turned to leave but Chandler's voice stopped him and everybody.

"Is the, uh, baby ok?"

"We're still doing tests," is all the doctor could offer before leaving.

"A baby? This is crazy, just crazy," Ross muttered, echoing Chandler's thoughts as he sank back into his chair, his head in his hands, "I mean she's not even dating anyone, is she?"

Chandler was aware of both Rachel and Joey staring at him, their confused eyes on him but he couldn't deal with them, couldn't deal with _it_ any of it. It was too much. It had been too much before but now it was insane, he couldn't wrap his head any this. There was a heavy, guilty silence and he could still feel their eyes, boring a hole into him and he couldn't take it any more. Couldn't be trapped in this room.

"I'm getting some air," he announced abruptly, not waiting for any replies as he rapidly left, walking quickly through the unfamiliar cold corridors until his feet carried him through the side exit.

It wasn't until he was outside that the enormity of the situation hit him with full force. His legs giving way he grabbed onto the nearest wall, feeling the rough brick under his fingers as he gripped it as tightly as fear gripped his heart.

His face screwed up in pain, tears stinging the back of his eyes as the tortuous reality tried to sink in. She was pregnant. Monica was pregnant with his child. She was not only fighting for her life but also for their unborn baby's life and what if she lost the battle? What if he lost both of them? How was he meant to live, breathe, function knowing he'd lost his entire future?

Releasing the wall, he bent forwards, his hands braced on his knees as he tried to take some deep ragged breaths. What if Monica survived but the baby didn't? How would he be able to break the news to her? Monica had always dreamed of being a mom and now she might lose that chance because of a stupid tennis match. If he had just let her win she wouldn't have had to try so hard, push herself doubling her effort and she wouldn't have missed her meal.

Then she wouldn't have fainted, wouldn't be here.

Why was life so cruel?

Slowly, gradually, he straightened up and let out a breath. Thinking like this wasn't going to help. He had to stay strong for Monica. No matter how difficult it was, no matter how much he just wanted to run and hide away he knew he had to dig deep and find his inner strength, for her.

He had to keep believing, keep the hope alive as it was the only way to keep himself functioning and he needed to at least do that. Mindlessly he started walking, forcing his wobbly legs to move, even if it was just a small loop around the hospital grounds he didn't care. He just needed to do something, anything to get himself together.

Get himself prepared to go back in there.

Chandler stopped as he spotted a man on a nearby bench, a lit cigarette in his hand, the smoke drifting up into the air. He knew Monica wouldn't approve, really wouldn't but she wasn't with him right now, she was the reason he needed the comfort so so badly.

"Can I have one of those?" Chandler croaked as he approached him.

The man looked him over, "Sure," he handed him the packet and lighter.

He grunted his thanks, placing one between his lips and lighting it with ease. He closed his damp eyes, breathing in the toxic fumes, holding them longer than necessary in his mouth and throat before slowly releasing them with a shaky breath. He hadn't missed smoking since he'd gotten together with Monica, he hadn't needed it, he'd been so happy, so content and now...

He shook his head, desperately trying to stop that train of thought and took another drag, needing the nicotine to take the edge off some of his pain. It hurt so frickin much that he didn't know what to do. What was he meant to do?

Eventually he opened his eyes, realizing the other man was still there watching him. Embarrassed, he blinked away his tears, quickly holding the box and lighter back out to him.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Take 'em," the guy said easily, standing up, "I'm finished here anyway, about to head for home. It's looks like you're just starting out. Good luck."

With that he left and Chandler collapsed onto the empty bench, stuffing the carton and lighter into his jacket pocket as he focused on his current cigarette. He closed his eyes, inhaling slowly, trying to calm his whirling mind; trying to forget for just a few minutes the current hell he was facing.

"Hey." He didn't bother to open his eyes as his roommate settled down beside him. "Look, I know it's a dumb question, but are you ok?"

Chandler shook his head, remaining silent.

"Did you know about the baby?" he ventured hesitantly and again Chandler just shook his head. "It's gonna be ok, Chandler."

"You don't know that," his voice was harsher than he'd intended but the last thing he wanted was to be listening to empty promises.

False hope.

"Yeah I do," he protested, causing Chandler to finally open his pain-filled eyes and look doubtfully at him. "She's Monica Geller. She's the strongest, toughest woman I certainly know; she's not going to let some little bump on the head stop her."

God he wished he could believe that.

The silence stretched between them as he smoked some more. He was grateful for Joey for not commenting on it.

"She's in there because of me," he finally admitted quietly, the guilt starting to rise up within him. She was fighting for not only her life but their baby's as well. Because of him. Would she ever forgive him? Would he ever forgive himself?

"What?" Joey asked confused. "She fainted at work. How exactly is that your fault?"

He exhaled, watching the smoke mix and dissolve into the air.

"She should have been taking it easy, relaxing. Instead we played tennis, argued and had this huge stupid fight. Our last words may be an argument. I can't-" he swallowed hard, lifting the smoke back to his mouth, inhaling hard. "This is all my damn fault and now I might lose her and-"

"You aren't going to lose her," Joey insisted, an edge to his voice. "You have to stay positive, Chandler. She's in there fighting and needs you to fight for her as well and not give up on her. Sitting here thinking like this isn't going to help anyone. Blaming yourself isn't going to change anything. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself. It was an accident, a horrible crappy accident but still just an accident. You didn't do this to her, you have to believe that."

Chandler shrugged, wishing he could believe his friends words.

"Look, I told you she's strong and she is; she's gonna fight and get through this."

"What about the baby?" Chandler asked quietly, swallowing down his emotions. "It's gotta be so tiny and weak; how the hell is it meant to fight? It's not strong enough."

"Are you kidding me?" Joey asked, "It's half Geller and half Bing, it's gonna to be fine. Not only is it going to survive but it'll crack a joke about it afterwards."

Chandler offered him a curve of a smile as he finished his cigarette, tossing it onto the ground and stomping it out. As he stared at the squished butt, he knew Joey was right about one thing -it was time to stop wallowing in self pity, he had to be strong, for both of them. He was going to be there for them both, be a good boyfriend and father and get them through this.

"She's going to make it," Joey reminded him as they stood up, slapping a hand onto his back. "They both will."

He nodded, hoping the other man was right.

"Yeah, they will," he agreed, trying to believe his own words. "Monica will be fine and keep the baby safe and in a few months we're gonna have a little family," he swallowed hard as the realization slowly dawned on him. "Can you believe I'm going to be a dad?"

"It's yours?!"

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A/N - Sorry for the cliff hanger! This isn't my usual style of angst but when I had the idea I went with it. Would love to hear your thoughts :o)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - Wow, thanks so much for the warm welcome back and the lovely reviews guys! I can't tell you how awesome you all are and how much of a smile you each put on my face! I'm glad a lot of you are enjoying this so I've updated as quick as possible.

Just to clarify for those of you that wanted to know about the 'secretiveness' status of their relationship by this episode...Joey knew (and they knew he knew) and Rachel knew (but they didn't know she knew but Joey knew she knew). Simples ;o)

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Part 2

They spun around to find a shocked Phoebe standing behind them, her eyes round and mouth hanging open.

"You slept with Monica?"

Chandler sighed in defeat before simply shrugging a shoulder. Keeping their relationship a secret now seemed so insignificant compared to before.

"We're together," he quietly confirmed.

"As in dating?" He nodded. "Oh my god, you and Monica? Wow! This is just...wait, Joey knows?"

"A _nd_ Rachel," Joey corrected and Chandler didn't even bother asking.

It wasn't important how Rachel knew, or that now most of the gang knew. There was one important thing though...

"Phoebs, do me a favor and don't tell Ross, ok?" he requested softly meeting her eyes. "He's got enough on his plate without this adding to it."

That was putting it lightly Chandler realized. The man was going through a horrible divorce, was homeless, put on sabbatical and now was hoping for his sister to pull through. He really didn't need to know his best friend had been lying to him and sneaking around behind his back for months.

"So have you," she reminded him gently, placing a hand on his arm. "And, you know what, I think you should tell him."

"Why?" he frowned.

"Chandler, he's in there not only worried about his sister but now thinking someone has taken advantage of her and that she may have to raise a baby alone. Be honest with him, it will at least put his mind at ease about one thing, plus if he knows, at least you can stop trying to act like a worried friend and be a worried _boy_ friend. You shouldn't have to hide your true feelings, not at a time like this."

He studied her for a long moment debating the truth in her words before his eyes went to Joey, silently seeking his opinion.

"I think you should tell him," he agreed. "He deserves to know and like Phoebe says, you deserve to not have to hide anything in there."

He nodded slowly, his mind still too full with fear for Monica to try and worry about how to tell Ross. He'd just tell him, man to man and then he could focus on those positive thoughts he needed. Monica _would_ be ok. There wasn't an alternative option.

Chandler started the short journey back, Phoebe and Joey walking silently behind him. He knew Phoebe was probably bursting with questions but she knew now wasn't the time and he appreciated that. Reaching the door to the waiting room he took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves, about Ross, about having to wait in that horrible room, about what news he might receive whilst waiting in that horrible room.

Feeling a reassuring hand on his shoulder, feeling the silent support of his friends, he nodded, taking a final breath before pushing open the doors.

Ross and Rachel's heads snapped up but Ross' eyes immediately dropped back to the floor, although Rachel's lingered on him for a moment longer, silently questioning if he was ok. He shot her back a tight nod of thanks.

"Any news?" Phoebe asked, sitting the other side of Ross, her hand on his arm. Had she sat there to brace him for Chandler's news, ready to support or maybe restrain him?

"No, nothing, what's taking so long?" Ross sighed, scrubbing a frustrated hand across his face.

"I'm sure they're doing all they can," Rachel reassured him quietly. "No news is good news."

How he hoped that was true.

Ross reluctantly nodded at her statement, dropping his head and Chandler stared at the man, Phoebe's words coming back to him. If he could reassure him about something, then he should, right? He was his best friend, he deserved to know and it might actually help him; may lift some of the weight off his slumped shoulders.

And above all he was Monica's brother. She would want him to help her brother.

His decision was made.

"Ross," he croaked, swallowing as he stepped closer to him.

"Yeah?" he looked up.

"I, uh, I've got something I need to tell you."

"Now?" he asked screwing his face up.

Chandler nodded with a wince, feeling all the others eyes on him, silently urging him on and offering their support. As he struggled to find his words, it occurred to him it should never be like this. Monica should have been there, Monica should be the one to tell her own brother, but that wasn't an option right now. He just had to remember he was doing this for his friend...who was staring up at him, his frown deepening.

"Chandler?" Ross pressed. "What is it?"

"There's, uh, there's something I need to tell you," he repeated, why was this so hard? Was it because they'd never told anyone? That everyone had worked it out for themselves? Was it because he feared Ross' reaction more than anyone else's? Whilst he was hoping this news would take a weight of Ross' mind, he knew damn well there was a chance it would go the other way. That the man was in such a fragile emotional state, even before this, that this might be the final straw to make him snap. That maybe Ross would kick him out of the hospital, or put him in a hospital bed and then he wouldn't get a chance to be near Monica at the time it mattered the most...

"Chandler?" Ross repeated, standing up as Joey came to stand beside him. "What is it? What's going on?"

Chandler glanced at Joey before looking back at Ross, meeting his eyes briefly as he cleared his throat.

"I'm in love with your sister," he said quietly, quickly, his eyes dropping to the floor. "We've, uh been dating, for a little while actually and the b-baby's mine."

He closed his eyes, waiting to learn his fate.

"W-what?" Ross squeaked clearly shocked, "You're...what?"

"It's a good thing, Ross," Rachel soothed instantly, jumping up and running a hand down his arm. "A really good thing. I've never seen Monica like this with anyone, he makes her so happy and they're in love. It's always great when two people realize they're in love, right?"

Chandler opened his eyes in surprise, looking over at Rachel. He hadn't even realized she'd known about them until today and yet she'd manage to observe all that?

Ross was looking at Rachel too, studying her intently before he finally looked back to Chandler meeting his eyes.

"This isn't how we planned to tell you," Chandler confessed quietly, still not sure what was going on in Ross' head. "And I don't want to add any more pressure on you right now, I just wanted you to know that, well that she's not been used or abandoned; I'm going to be with her every step of the way, and already they," he swallowed, "they already mean the world to me and," he swallowed again, fighting the tears he felt pressing against his eyelids, "And, I can't even think right now what will happen if I lose either one of them and, I, I just-"

Suddenly Ross stepped forwards pulling him into a fierce hug and gratefully he accepted, knowing they probably needed it as much as each other. He felt more arms and closed his eyes, accepting the group hug from his friends. They were all in this together and he had to hold onto that fact. She had all these people that loved her dearly and were praying she made it.

It had to count for something.

It had to be enough.

"Um..."

They broke away quickly, Chandler swiping at his eyes as he turned to the doctor.

"Is she ok?" Ross asked quickly, desperation clear in his voice.

Chandler's heart was in his throat, unable to speak as he studied the stranger before him, trying to determine the news before he heard it. To brace himself for what was to come.

"So far she's responding well, as is the embryo. You still need to prepare yourselves though, all head injuries are treated very seriously and until she is conscious we won't be able to determine the full extent of any damage."

A silence settled over the group as they all tried to process the doctor's words.

"C-can we see her?" Chandler managed to ask as the man started to turn away.

"Not quite yet, but I'll have a nurse let you know as soon as you're able to."

With that he offered them another sympathetic smile before leaving them alone.

"They're responding well," Phoebe said out loud, trying to no doubt comfort him as well as herself, "that's good news."

"Yeah," he managed to choke out, walking over to one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, trying to fight the temptation of another cigarette.

The others took seats too as they all waited to learn her fate.

"Mom and dad should be here soon," Ross commented to no one in particular as he looked at his watch.

"Ross," he spoke quietly, wetting his lips, "Can you do me a favor and don't tell Jack or Judy about the baby?"

"Why not?" he frowned.

"Because," he scrubbed a hand through his mussed hair, hating that he was struggling to express himself, hating this whole situation, "because...she should get to tell somebody. It's this _huge_ thing that she should have gotten to surprise _me_ with and then we'd have had to have worked out how the hell to tell you all about not only us but a baby too but now...now everyone already knows before she does. It's not fair, she deserves to be the one who tells people, especially her own parents."

"He's right," Rachel said gently. "It's Monica and Chandler's news to tell people. I can imagine how excited she would have been to tell us...and how nervous you would have been to tell Ross you'd knocked up his little sister," she teased lightly and a ghost of a smile briefly fleeted across Chandler's face in acknowledgment.

"Ok," Ross eventually agreed, looking over to him. "Ok. So, uh, since when did you two get together anyhow? Why now after all these years?"

Chandler blinked, totally caught off guard.

"You seriously wanna discuss this now?" he asked bewildered.

"Yeah," he nodded, clearing his throat a little but his voice was still quiet when he spoke, "it's better than sitting here in silence trying to work out what to prepare ourselves for."

"And it's nice as we'll be talking about Monica," Phoebe piped up enthusiastic about the idea, "Happy thoughts and stories that will find their way to her and the baby."

"Really?" he asked sceptically, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.

"I think it's a good idea. Come on, tell us some things, like how you got together," Rachel insisted, leaning forward interested, "Joey barely knows anything, apart from it happened in London."

"Wait London? At my wedding, London?"

He nodded guiltily as Phoebe laughed lightly, "That's so rock and roll, I didn't know you had it in you."

"Thanks, I think," the smallest smile touched his lips, his mind leaving their current nightmare, instead remembering a happier time, perhaps his happiest ever time. If only he'd known then the amazing direction his life was going to turn that night. If only he would have guessed how much his life was going to change for the better when they'd tumbled under those hotel bed sheets. "It wasn't expected or planned or anything like that. We were in a foreign, romantic country and had spent the evening of your rehearsal dinner just hanging out together," his smile widened slightly as he remembered more. "My, uh best man speech had completely bombed and your mom had been driving her crazy. She'd drunk a bit too much and I tried to comfort her and things...things just happened...

"We were going to leave it as a one night thing, or at least a one _country_ thing and not continue anything when we got back home but we couldn't, it just felt like we were onto something, onto something good," he smiled again, realizing Rachel and Phoebe had been right. Just discussing their relationship out loud was starting to make him feel that little better, that little bit comforted as he remembered their unique love story. "And we were right as it turned out, we were onto something really good. Neither of us saw it coming but when it did, we just clicked. It's easily the best relationship I've ever been in."

"Why didn't you tell us? When you got back from London?" Rachel asked curiously. "I mean we tell each other everything."

"There was already enough going on," he shrugged, thinking of Ross but not saying it. "I guess we didn't want to add to that, or add any pressure on the start of our new relationship."

"Surely keeping it a secret was even more pressure?" Ross frowned. "Especially from us guys, you see us everyday, multiple times even. To hide something as huge as this must have been really hard."

Chandler smiled slightly, remembering all the near misses they'd experienced throughout these months. There had been a fair few in hindsight.

"It wasn't always easy to hide," he admitted, "but on the flipside being a secret made parts of it fun. The main reason we kept it secret though, I guess, was to give us time to adapt to everything ourselves. I mean it had caught us both completely by surprise and we just needed time to...process it out of the public eye so to speak."

"Then why did you tell Joey and Rachel? Or did they figure you out?" Phoebe asked confused.

"We didn't tell anyone," Chandler clarified, finding it slightly ironic that they now all knew, "uh, Joey worked it out himself when we went away for a weekend together."

"You went on a weekend away with Joey? When?" Phoebe looked even more confused.

"Not with Joey," he screwed up his face at the thought, "with _Monica_ , ya know, just the two of us..."

"Aw, a romantic weekend getaway?" Phoebe praised, "How would we not have noticed that?"

"We made up cover stories," he shrugged, remembering the disastrous weekend but more importantly remembering her reassuring promises after they'd returned to New York. Remembering the warmth in her gorgeous eyes and her beautiful smile as she had welcomed him to an 'adult' relationship. She'd forgiven him for that fight and he hoped beyond hope that she would get the chance to this time. That he'd get the chance to see that smile again.

"What about Rachel, how did she find out?"

"Erm, I'm not sure?" he looked over to her, pleased to see her smile softly too.

"I heard you on the phone a couple of weeks ago," she confessed. "Then once I knew, it was pretty easy to figure out all your codewords and disappearances, you two really aren't great at this whole undercover thing. I mean you paying her to clean your bedroom? Seriously Chandler? I mean it's _Monica_ , she'd pay you to let her clean it."

He grinned nodding, knowing her words were too true. Her OCD cleaning habits were just one of her little quirks that made her Monica. His Monica.

"I tried to get her to confess it all to me," Rachel continued, "but she wouldn't. I listened in on you guys talking a little later and I understood; I know she wanted to tell us but that you both weren't quite ready. She's really smitten with you though, Chandler and the more I thought about the two of you the more right it became. I'm really happy you found each other, even if it took you a decade."

"Thanks," he managed to grab hold of the secure loving feeling in his chest letting it momentarily calm the worry that was churning within.

She loved him as much as he loved her.

"I still can't believe this," Ross admitted, trying to process his own memories. At least it had stopped him thinking about the current situation his sister was in. "Wait, is that why you went all weird at thanksgiving this year?"

"He's weird at every thanksgiving," Joey pointed out, "it's his thing."

"I meant about Monica and the toe-cutting incident," Ross corrected, looking over at Chandler curious.

"Yeah," Chandler pulled a face, "it was stupid though, I mean it happened such a long time ago, it was just the first time I heard _why_ it happened and I don't know...we made up though, she even put a turkey on her head, Joey style, but she included these big glasses and a hat," he chuckled fondly at the memory.

"Wait, that's what that was?" Joey asked, clicking his fingers.

Chandler laughed a little as the others looked confused, "Right, I'd forgotten that."

"What?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Joey walked in on Monica mid-dance and ran from the apartment screaming like a girl!"

"Hey! Not like a girl!" he immediately protested as the others chuckled, "it just caught me off guard. You don't expect to walk into your apartment and come face to face with a giant human- turkey; not even at thanksgiving."

"I thought it was wearing comedy glasses and a hat?" Ross pointed out, "It doesn't sound particularly scary."

"Trust me, you would have been freaked out if you had been there," Joey insisted, his ego damaged.

Chandler's smile widened, remembering the incident well. Remembering his blurted 'I love you' and his panicked retraction straight after. He still couldn't believe she had put an actual turkey on her head just to try and cheer him up. She was simply incredible, amazing and he was so lucky to have her...

She had to be ok.

He needed her, needed her so badly.

His smile fell, that little light from moments ago diminishing as he realized just how much he stood to lose. She was the only person that really got him; the one person that understood him and made him feel complete. She couldn't leave him. Couldn't be snatched from him without him getting the chance to tell her how much he did love her and not retracting it. He needed to try and express how much she meant to him, how much he cared about her and cherished her.

Phoebe had been right, talking about her had been wonderful, but now it made his heart ache even more than before, reminding him exactly what he stood to lose if he lost her.

He couldn't lose her.

Couldn't.

"You ok?" Joey asked quietly as the atmosphere in the room changed, fading back to tense and worried.

"What am I going to do if she doesn't make it?" he whispered to anyone, swallowing hard.

"Nuh uh don't do that," Phoebe shook her head. "You need to keep the hope alive, think positive and not dwell on these thoughts, it isn't going to help anybody."

He shook his head, fear and frustration rapidly making their way to the surface as anxiety pushed itself to the forefront of his mind. He couldn't do this any more. Couldn't be positive when Monica was in there fighting for the life of her and their unborn baby.

"Yeah, well I'm sick of being told to think positively," he told them standing up, needing to pace to get rid of some of his nerves, some of his pent up anger at the whole situation. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. "How am I meant to think positively when my whole life is laying on some hospital bed, still fighting and we're being told to not get our hopes up? How the hell am I meant to-"

"Chandler," Joey said firmly, stepping in front of him, his arms outstretched to tightly grip his shoulders. "We're all worried about her, ok? You've just got to hold it together, doing this now isn't going to help Monica. Got it?"

He stared at him a moment before roughly jerking out of his grasp, "I'm going for a smoke."

As the others protested he stormed towards the door, needing to get his head together again. He hated emotional situations, he didn't know how to deal with them, not like this, not when he was vulnerable and exposed. It was always Monica that helped him cope and now that she wasn't here he could feel himself losing the little control he had.

He pushed hard on the doors, causing them to swing open at force and instantly collided with a nurse who was entering the room. He simultaneously cursed and apologized, faltering in his step. Was this _their_ nurse? Was this finally news?

"That's ok," she brushed herself off. "The doctor says she's allowed visitors now, but not all of you."

The others patted Ross' back and he joined Chandler. As much as they all wanted to see her they understood her brother and boyfriend needed to be the ones to see her first. The two men followed the nurse silently as she led them down a long sterile corridor. When she suddenly stopped by a room, Chandler took some deep breaths, trying to calm the adrenaline that was racing around inside him; he had to be strong, no matter how bad she looked.

She needed him.

He felt Ross' hand on his shoulder and opening his eyes he met his oldest friends' and nodded. They both had to be strong; for Monica.

Chandler entered first, freezing on the spot. She looked so pale, so fragile and...small. She was still hooked up to various monitors and had tons of wires connected to her and had a large dressing on her head.

The most eerie thing was she was so still. So unlike Monica. Animated, neurotic Monica.

With a shaky breath he headed towards her bed, automatically sitting down on the chair beside her as he gingerly reached out and took her hand in his.

"Mon?" he spoke quietly, tentatively as his thumb caressed her hand, "It's me, can you hear me?"

There was no response.

Slowly Ross walked around to the other side of the bed, his hands in his pockets as he studied his little sister. They stayed in silence for a while, both just staring at her.

At least he was here with her now, able to hold her hand and hopefully reassure both her and himself.

Tightening his grip on her hand for a moment he then lifted it slightly, lowering his head as he gently pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. He let his lips linger on the soft warm skin as he closed his eyes.

"Come on Mon," he whispered to her, "please..."

Please wake up, please be ok, please prove to him and everyone that she was as strong as they hoped. Just please.

Monica didn't respond to his touch or his pleas. She stayed still. Too still.

"She's so still," Ross murmured unknowingly echoing Chandler's thoughts.

"Yeah," he swallowed, opening his eyes and studying her face, desperately scanning it for any signs she could hear them, any signs she was fighting this and about to wake up.

That's all he needed her to do now, wake up and reassure him she was fine and worrying over nothing. If she at least recognized him then that was enough. Anything else they could learn to deal with but he needed her more than anything.

Ross dragged a chair across the room to her other side, the noise loud and grating.

Together the sat in silence, staring at the woman that meant so much to them.

Waiting. Praying. Hoping.

* * *

A/N- sorry another depressing end to the chapter. I'll try to get part 3 up soon. You've probably guessed I've not got a medical degree so please ignore any inaccuracies you may spot. I'm deliberately not going into too much medical details as I always prefer to explore the character side of things and experiment with how they might reaction in this sort of scenario.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter :o)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N – Hi guys, sorry for the delay with this chapter. I went away to Portugal for a long weekend and had totally planned to post this up before I went, which kinda didn't happen...but then when does anything ever go to plan right? Talking of not going to plan I split this chapter up as it was getting way too long so there's another chapter to come opposed to the original 3 parts.

* * *

Part 3:

"I'm sorry about earlier," Chandler confessed out of nowhere, his sudden voice causing Ross to take his eyes off his sister for the first time and focus on his friend.

"Huh?"

"For losing it like that, ya know out in the waiting room," he clarified with a wince. "You guys are right, we have to keep together and keep the hope she's gonna be ok."

"She _will_ be ok," Ross said, although it didn't sound as firm as either man would have liked. "And don't worry about earlier. I get it, it's a horrible situation."

"Yeah," he nodded.

It was a horrible situation, the most horrid and nightmarish imaginable. He'd had crappy times throughout his life, everyone had but this was far worse than his darkest memories. His hand tightened on her limp one as he felt tears pressing against his eyelids.

No he couldn't cry, he couldn't let her wake up to see him crying; he had to stay strong. For her and for their baby.

Various nurses came in, silently checking machines and charts before disappearing, then reappearing again; it seemed like an endless circle. Chandler didn't pay them much attention, he just stared at Monica in silence, all his remaining energy spent on willing her to be alright, willing her to fight this with her usual spirit and determination and to pull through.

Finally a doctor came in, picking up the clipboard and silently reading through the various notes before moving to the machines and checking her vitals. His expression remained grim, his lips set in a thin tight line as he remained silent.

"Is everything going ok?" Ross asked him hesitantly. "I mean as expected?"

There was a horrible pause before the doctor eventually spoke, "She seems to still be responding well, we'll be able to have a lot more answers once she's conscious; it's always hard to tell the full extent of any damage until she's awake and talking."

"Any idea when that will be?"

"It could be anytime now," he sighed, a heavy weight clearly on his shoulders as he glanced at his wristwatch. "Or it may take longer, possibly a lot longer. I'm sorry but it's difficult to predict with head injuries, each one is very different. She'll probably be in and out of consciousness and very groggy, probably won't comprehend much to start with. However, please do inform someone when she does wake up."

When. He'd said 'when' and not 'if'; Chandler clung onto that one word like his life depended on it, it _did_ depend on it.

Ross thanked him and the doctor placed the clipboard back in its place at the foot of the bed, clicking his pen shut and placing it in his top pocket before he turned towards the door.

"What about the baby? Is it doing ok?" Chandler asked, a lump in his throat as his gut clenched waiting for the answer.

"The last tests show it was still with us, but again it's very hard to tell at this stage. I'm afraid that even if it does survive, a trauma like this so early on can cause complications in later stages of development."

Chandler nodded although his jaw tightened as the other man quietly left and again they went back to sitting in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

Waiting.

"I can't believe you guys might have a kid together," Ross spoke, his voice sounding loud and almost out of place against the machine's quiet steady beeps.

"I know," Chandler murmured, his eyes moving down to her flat stomach, unable to comprehend that another life was growing in there; a life they'd created together. "If you'd asked me this morning if I was ready for a kid I'd said no, hell no; I would have thought you'd gone crazy...but now? Now that I'm sitting here faced with losing them...I want nothing more.

"Sure," he continued, his voice cracking slightly, evidence of the emotional strain he was under, "it's a lot earlier than I'd ever imagined. Even years ahead of the schedule that Monica has no doubt secretly planned out for us," his mouth curved with the tiniest hint of a grin at the thought but it disappeared quickly, "but now though, now I _need_ for both her and the baby to be ok, healthy and ok and...just alive. I desperately want to raise this child with her and she'll be an amazing mom, I know she will. She'll just be a natural at it and me...I have no clue how to be a dad...but I want the chance to find out, ya know? To try?"

"I don't think you're ever really prepared for what it's like," Ross mused quietly, "to be a dad that is. I mean look at Ben. At the time it was a massive shock and the worse time to happen as I was just trying to cope with the divorce...but I wouldn't swap him for anything. Out of nowhere he was suddenly there and depending on me and the first time I looked down at his little face I just...it's a love you've never experienced, it just bowls you over.

"Being a parent is such a huge crazy thing and it's freaking scary at times. Half the time you haven't got a clue what you're doing but you manage to stumble through it somehow but god, it's worth it, so worth it."

Chandler looked over to him, studying his oldest friend, "You're a good dad, Ross," he told him quietly.

"Thanks, uh, you know you will be too, right?"

Chandler wet his lips, his eyes falling back onto the non-existent bump, "I hope so," he confessed honestly. "I really hope so."

He could feel Ross' eyes still on him but he had nothing else left to say. His shields were down, he was entirely defenseless, just like Monica and the baby. He didn't like it but was choice-less right now.

"I'm glad you told me it's yours," Ross said softly, causing Chandler to turn to him with a questioning eyebrow. "I mean, it would have been better if I'd known from the start and definitely better than it being in here under these circumstances...but when the doctor told us she was pregnant, I had so much stuff swimming around and...thank you for telling me, I know it wasn't easy."

Chandler nodded in understanding, also glad that Ross knew, glad in fact that they now all knew and there were no more secrets between them. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner," he sighed, his eyes going back to Monica's motionless face. "We just wanted some more time out of the spotlight."

"It's ok," Ross assured him, "I kinda get it and even if I didn't it's not important right now. They are."

"Yeah," he agreed, nothing else seemed remotely important in comparison.

A silence settled over them again as they sat there waiting.

Still waiting. Still praying. Still hoping.

Time lost all meaning as Chandler stared at her, willing her to just be OK. He was hoping so much for her to wake up, concentrating so hard that when he suddenly sensed a tiny movement from the bed it took him a long moment to decide if it was actually real or if he had just imagined it. Then there it was again, so slight but he was on it in an instant, leaning over her.

"Monica? Mon?" he called softly as Ross jumped to his feet.

"What is it?" Ross asked, panicked but Chandler ignored him, his attention fully on his girlfriend.

He held his breath as she eventually managed to open those beautiful blue eyes, waiting for them to focus on him, praying that they would. Finally they did and he let out a sigh of relief as recognition slowly filled her face, even as she frowned slightly.

"Ch-Ch'dler?" her voice was raspy, grave but it was still the most wonderful sound he'd ever heard.

Relief and pure joy swept through him.

"Yeah, it's me, Mon," he assured her with a soft smile.

His joy turned to disappointment though as he watched her heavy eyelids trying to close already, although it was clear she was fighting it.

"It's ok," he promised, his free hand brushing what he could of her hair as her tired eyes tried to keep focused on him. "It's ok, go back to sleep, honey, you've been through a lot. Everything's ok, I'm here with you. I'm here."

His fingers trailed through her hair as he watched her give in and surrender, closing her eyes and falling back asleep instantly. He managed to rip his eyes off her for a split second to look over to a smiling and somewhat shocked Ross.

"She recognized me," Chandler stated proudly, a buzz of excitement coursing through his veins as he beamed at the other man. "She woke up and recognized me. That has to be a good sign, right?"

"Right," Ross agreed with his own smile. "See, I told you she'd be fine, didn't I? It's just the matter of waiting for her to wake up properly and she will."

"Yeah," he nodded, wetting his lips excitedly as he stared down at her with renewed hope filling his every fiber.

She was going to be ok.

He watched her chest rising and falling slowly, tuned into the heart monitors, looking for any indication of her coming to again. Time stood still, trapped in their little hospital bubble once more as he tried to be patient, tried to keep the hope alive in his heart but as each minute ticked by he started to get more worried that it had been a fluke. A final chance to say goodbye, a final chance to apologize for their fight, his final chance to let her know how much she meant to him...and he hadn't taken it.

What if something went wrong and she had a seizure or stroke?

Why had he wasted that golden opportunity?

He was an idiot.

As the doubts crept into his mind he tightened his hand around hers, desperate for her to squash his dark thoughts. "Come on, Mon," he whispered, urging her to wake up again, not caring about the confused look Ross shot him. "Come on," he pleaded, begged.

He needed her to open her eyes, needed her to let him say all these things in case he didn't get the chance again.

He needed her.

"Please, Mon," he whispered, squeezing her hand as he tried to fight his fears and tears from becoming a reality. "Please."

His heart skipped a beat when a moment later she stirred slightly.

Thank God.

"Monica?" He asked quickly. "Can you hear me? Monica?"

He held his breath as she slowly opened her eyes, still looking groggy and totally exhausted but she looked absolutely beautiful to him. He stared at her, waiting for her to wake up more fully, letting her blue eyes strengthen and calm his soul. He had to stay strong and look after her like she'd looked after him so many times in the past. Now was not the time to freak out.

"Hey sleepyhead," he murmured, an endearing smile spreading across his face as he gently brushed the knuckles of his free hand over her cheek.

"Chandler. I... Wh-?" her frown deepened as her eyes left his face darting around her surroundings. He squeezed her hand in comfort as she took in the hospital room and her concerned brother close by. "Ross?" she questioned before her wide eyes once again fell to her boyfriend, "W-what happened?"

"You fell at work, hit your head, so they brought you to hospital," Chandler told her softly, trying to keep his voice soothing, "but everyone's here and you're gonna be ok." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her forehead, murmuring against her hair, "You're gonna be ok, Mon, just fine," he repeated, the whisper more for himself than her as he pulled away enough to lose himself in her eyes.

"I'll, uh go let the doctor know she's awake," Ross told them, swallowing hard as he turned and left them alone.

"I'm sorry about our fight," Chandler told her quickly, "I really don't care about tennis, or work or how competitive you are. You know that right?"

She nodded a little, her brow furrowed, "I know. I'm sorry too, Chandler. I-"

"Shh, that's ok, it's not important," he promised, his eyes creasing in the corners as they stared at each other.

It wasn't important and he didn't need any apologies from her. He just needed to make sure that there was no lingering tension or resentment between them at a time like this and that she knew that. What was more important was to let her know what she meant to him before she fell back asleep and as he stared at her already closing eyes it became so easy and obvious. The three little words he'd always been terrified of in previous relationships now seemed so true, easy even, like they were the most natural thing to say.

"I love you, Monica," he told her honestly. "I love you so much and you mean the world to me."

A sleepy yet contented smile touched her lips, as something shined in her tired eyes.

"Love you, too," she murmured, her eyes starting to close and her confession sent waves of happiness through him.

"I love you," he told her again, liberated and almost giddy.

Chandler's smile actually hurt his face as he gently stroked her face as she drifted off. He stared down at her, the enormity of the moment hitting him.

She loved him.

She really loved him and he'd gotten the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to him. His last words to her wouldn't be spoken in anger in the heat of the moment. He closed his eyes as relief swept through him.

Hearing the door open, he turned to see Ross and the same doctor in tow.

"She's gone back to sleep," Chandler told them, still smiling, his heart warm.

"Ok," the doctor acknowledged him, moving to check the machines and read some charts. "She recognized you I hear?"

"Yeah," he nodded, sharing a pleased look with Ross, "She recognized both of us, asked what happened, that's good right?"

"It's a very encouraging sign," he nodded. "When she's fully awake I'll need to conduct further tests to fully understand any consequence of the injury but it's promising so far. Until then I need to get back to my other patients. Excuse me."

"Doc?" Chandler asked walking over to the man. "Can you do me a favor?" he asked the skeptical and somewhat impatient face in front of him. "Can you not tell her about the baby? I really wanna be the one that gets to tell her."

The doctor looked him over, "Are you the father?"

The question sent tingles down his spine.

Father. He was going to be a father.

"Yes," he swallowed, chewing his lip as he awaited his verdict.

"I'll try my best," he finally offered, "I can't promise though as there's lots going on out there and it may well be another doctor seeing her. I recommend you tell her quickly."

"Thank you," Chandler nodded in understanding as he left.

"You wanna tell her?" Ross asked surprised.

"Yeah," he wet his lips as he turned to his friend, trying to find the words to explain his reasoning. "I mean if she can't get to tell me, then I at least want to be the one to tell her. This is huge news, crazy amazing news and I want her to find out from someone she loves rather than some stranger just listing it as a reason she collapsed. I know realistically the baby might not make it but regardless, I want to share this with her, make it special, like it should be."

"Ok," Ross agreed, "that makes sense. Look I'm gonna go update the others, see if anyone wants to come in and see her for a bit. I'm guessing you're going to stay here?"

"You're guessing right."

Ross offered him a small smile, nodding as he left.

"You've got lots of worried people out there," he whispered, claiming his seat again as he took her hand. "And everyone's gonna want to see you, Mon."

He'd been right.

First came Phoebe who explained that Rachel had decided to comfort Ross for a moment longer as the Gellers still hadn't made it. Once Phoebe had hummed, chanted a little and finished cleansing their auras, as well as the baby's, she left.

Which allowed Joey to join, who brought him a coffee and a sandwich. Chandler gratefully accepted the coffee but his stomach wasn't interested in the food, so Joey took it upon himself to eat it.

"Ross says she recognized you guys?" He prompted around a large mouthful of his sandwich. "See that's great."

"I know," Chandler grinned, "and I told her I loved her and she said it back."

Joey beamed happily for his friend, "Yeah? Wow, that's awesome, dude."

"Yeah," he agreed. It was pretty awesome.

When Joey's turn was up Rachel came in, offering him reassurances which were getting easier to accept.

"Ya know, I'm glad you guys got drunk and slept together," she announced, forcing his gaze off Monica and onto her.

"Huh?"

"I mean, Monica's not had it easy with relationships, and don't get me wrong I know you haven't either...or any of us really, but the point is she has been so much more...content since you got together. I think I noticed a change in her a while back, before I even figured you out and now I can see the same change in you too. I guess I'm saying it's nice to have two of the group finally happy."

"Thanks," he told her honestly, her words helping to keep the warm contented feelings in his chest. "We are happy, really happy."

"It shows," she promised as she stood up about to leave, "I'll go check on the others."

"Ok," he nodded.

But before she left Monica stirred, snapping both of their attention to her.

"Mon?" Chandler asked softly, stroking her face and squeezing her hand. "You waking up?"

Her eyelids fluttered open and she immediately focused on Chandler.

"Hey beautiful," he murmured, smiling, his eyes creasing in the corners as he took her in. "How you holding up?"

"Pretty crappy," she answered honestly, her eyes darting to Rachel. "Hey."

"Hey, I'm so glad you're ok," Rachel smiled, tears in her eyes as she placed a comforting hand on her arm.

"Thanks Rach," Monica tried to smile.

"Rachel, can you go get the doctor?" Chandler asked, knowing there was no way in hell he was gonna leave her side until they made him.

"Sure," she nodded, throwing one last wide smile at her roommate before disappearing.

"You remember what happened?" he asked gently, his eyes meeting hers and holding them, desperately drinking them in.

"No, I- I don't think-"

"You fell at work, hit your head," he prompted gently.

A brief look of recognition came over her features, although he wasn't sure if she was remembering their previous conversation or the actual event.

"You love me," she whispered in awe, her eyes bright with wonder.

"Yeah, I do," he beamed happily, pleased that she remembered as he brought her hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her soft skin, "Very very much in fact."

She smiled back, "I love you too, Chandler."

"I know babe," he grinned, wetting his lips as he looked sincerely at her, "I know."

They stared at each other letting their unique connection grow and strengthen.

"I'm glad you're here," she admitted, squeezing his hand weakly as she looked around the room again.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he promised as the doctor entered with Rachel.

"Miss Geller, it's good to see you awake," he told her, grabbing the clipboard from the end of the bed as a nurse entered and joined him. "I'm going to have to ask you two to leave so we can run some tests."

Chandler nodded reluctantly, squeezing Monica's hand tightly, "I'll be back soon," he whispered to her, placing a kiss on her forehead. She nodded, squeezing his hand back in understanding.

"Er doctor, could I-" he gestured to see him to the side and the doctor followed. "I haven't had a chance to tell her yet...about the baby..."

"I won't mention it to her this time," he promised quickly. "But I recommend you tell her as soon as possible."

"Thanks," he nodded as the doctor went back over to the bed.

Before he left, Chandler met Monica's eyes one last time across the room, allowing the silent messages of love and support to flow between them. Nodding he forced himself to leave, bumping into Rachel who was hovering unexpectedly outside in the corridor.

"How are you?" she asked kindly.

"Ok, I guess," he murmured, all of a sudden feeling exhausted as the earlier adrenaline suddenly evaporated. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing heavily before finding himself enveloped in a hug. He hugged her back appreciatively. "Thanks Rach."

"It's going to be alright," she promised into his ear and he nodded, knowing he had to believe that.

"What's going on? Has something happened? Is everything ok?"

Chandler pulled away scrubbing a hand over his face before looking up to see Ross and the Gellers, worried looks on all their faces.

"She's fine," Rachel answered for him, stepping forwards towards them. "They're running some more tests so we got kicked out."

"Can we see her?" Jack asked.

Of course the parents would want to go and see her. Two parents, two chairs. Would they try and take his place, take his seat beside Monica, beside the most important person in his life and kick him to the side-lines?

"No!" He realized it had come out much harsher than he'd intended, "Uh," he cleared his throat as four pairs of eyes turned to him. "I mean, um, no one's allowed in right now. She's awake though, talking."

Jack nodded glumly as Chandler shifted a little uncomfortable. What had the others told them? Did they know he was seeing their daughter? That he held boyfriend staying rights?

"Why don't we go and wait back in the waiting room with the others?" Rachel suggested gently and Chandler nodded reluctantly in agreement.

Slowly Ross led the way, Rachel walking close to her ex, her hand on his arm. Then walked the Gellers hanging onto each other. Hesitantly he shot a final look towards Monica's room before he stuck his hands in his pants pockets and wearily followed the couples procession along the long, cold corridor...

To the waiting room.

To wait once again...

* * *

A/N- Again sorry for the delay with this. Thanks for all your comments and feedback, I always love to hear what you guys think :o)

Hopefully the next chapter will be up soonish!


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4:

As he followed the others through the swing doors and into the waiting room Chandler was touched, although not surprised to find his friends still camped out there. He should have known they wouldn't go anywhere, not when one of them was hurting.

"What's going on?" Joey asked, his eyes on him as he collapsed dejectedly back into a plastic chair across from them all.

"She's awake again, the doctor's in there doing tests," Ross answered for them.

"That's gotta be a good sign? Right?" Joey prompted, his expression hopeful.

"Of course it is Joseph," Phoebe scolded. "It's a _great_ sign. See she's fine, I told you she would be."

"I sure hope so," Chandler sighed quietly, bracing his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward, his fingers pressing against his closed eyelids. He couldn't remember a time where he'd felt such a strange combination of emotions. He was so drained and exhausted both mentally and physically yet was on a knife's edge, alert for any nurses bringing bad news.

Despite what the others were saying he knew things could change so quickly and he didn't like that he wasn't in there. When he had been in there with her, with her beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes, he'd felt that hope and belief in his chest, felt that she _must_ be fine. But now out here, without her presence reassuring him he was scared. Visions of her crashing or flat-lining suddenly, post op infections, seizures...so much could go wrong and it always did in the movies. The character would wake up and appear fine before bam! Something horrible happened and...

"Do we know why she collapsed?" Jack Geller's voice sounded confused, strained like he couldn't quite comprehend that he was sat in a hospital waiting room. "I mean do we know _why_ this happened?"

Chandler kept his eyes closed, wondering what the others would say as a heavy silence came over them. Were they waiting for him? Waiting for him to confess his sins? As the silence stretched he concluded maybe they were. Or at least they were waiting for him to see how he wanted to explain it and what to reveal. Sighing he sat up, opening his eyes and looking across at her parents' worried faces. Confession time.

"She, uh, _we_ were playing tennis together," he swallowed as their eyes instantly snapped to him. "It got a little...competitive and it overran, I don't think she, uh had time to eat before she left for work."

"Tennis?" Judy questioned in that tone of hers.

Chandler's whole body tensed, his jaw tight as he bit his lip waiting. She could criticise him as much as she liked but if she even dared to try and criticise Monica now, whilst she was in hospital fighting for herself and their unborn baby he wouldn't be able to hold back.

"That's nice she still plays, I didn't realise she did." Chandler blinked confused by her quiet words as she continued. "She always used to love the sport, even when she was at her biggest. I remember that her and Ross used to get so competitive over it."

She was smiling fondly and Chandler chastened himself. Of course they were worried, would want to remember the good times and not focus on anything negative.

"Do you remember when they broke those brand new rackets I'd bought them?" Jack chuckled and they shared a smile together.

"That was her fault, she cheated," Ross grinned light-heartedly and Chandler smiled slightly, pleased they were recounting happy family memories.

He knew Monica at times had a strained relationship with her mother but deep down they loved and cared for each other dearly. They were routing for her too.

"I can't believe one missed meal and we're in ER," Judy commented quietly, shaking her head in disbelief.

Chandler cringed but knew without doubt he wanted to tell Monica about their baby before her parents found out. Tell her and then she could tell them in whatever way she chose. It had to be her choice.

"Speaking of missed meals, when did you last eat, Chandler?" Phoebe asked, apparently taking on the mother hen role as her eyes drilled into him.

"Uh..." he didn't have a clue, he didn't even know what time of day or night it was anymore. It seemed like the longest, surrealist day ever.

"Exactly," she gave him a stern knowing look. "We can't have you collapsing on us too."

"I'm not very hungry," he dismissed, food the last thing on his mind as his stomach tightened at the mere thought of it.

No he didn't need food, he just needed to get back in there and be with her.

"You have to eat, man," Joey joined in and he resisted rolling his eyes; he knew they meant well but he really didn't need to be looked after right now. They needed to look after Monica, not him.

"I'll grab something in a minute," he compromised, knowing he was lying and suspecting they all knew it too.

"Why don't you go for a walk then instead? Stretch your legs a little?" Rachel suggested. "You've been sat in there for hours. I know you're worried about her, Chandler but it's not healthy. Go get some fresh air."

He shook his head instantly, knowing that wasn't an option, "I promised her I'd go in again as soon as they finish their tests. I can't not be there, she needs me."

She needed him as much as he needed her. He wasn't going to leave her alone in hospital.

No way in hell.

He could feel them all exchanging looks but ignored them. Part of him briefly wondered what the older Gellers were making of it all as they remained silent but the larger part of him didn't have the energy to care. Like with everything else he'd faced today, he'd deal with whatever happened somehow. Right now he was tired, drained and just desperate to see her again.

What was taking so long?

"There's a vending machine just outside if you want something smaller?" Ross tried hesitantly.

Biting his lip to stop himself voicing his annoyance at their persistence, he tried to remind himself that it wasn't their fault; they were also enduring the day from hell and were just worried.

"Fine," he eventualy grated out, slowly standing up, his back and shoulders protesting at the movement. "If you hear anything though you better get me straight away."

"We will, the second we hear but she's going to be fine, Chandler," Ross promised.

Chandler reluctantly nodded before stepping out of the room and taking a long suffering breath. At least out here they wouldn't all be nagging him and he could get some space. He walked the short distance to the vending machine station, hands in pants pockets, head down.

The problem was he still couldn't convince himself to be as certain as the others were that she was 'fine'. He just really needed to see her again, to be with her. Let her reassure him she was ok. Let him tell her about the baby and let the baby make it, so they could raise it together and be that perfect family unit he'd never imagined he'd be a part of, let alone want so badly.

"You need a quarter, son?"

He blinked, it wasn't until Jack's voice came from behind him that he realized he'd just been staring blankly at the machine.

"Uh, no, thanks, I'm uh good," he shook his head, trying to clear it and focus on getting some cash from his pockets, keeping up the pretence that he was going to eat.

Jack remained silent as Chandler made his selection, "Did you uh want me to get you anything?" Chandler offered a little uncomfortable.

"No," he declined, "I just wanted to talk to you, about Monica."

Oh. If he wasn't already in such a emotionally charged state he might have worried about this conversation. Talking to your potential in-laws was never fun, but right now little else seemed to matter other than the woman lying on that hospital bed.

"What about her?" he asked, pressing the button for change, listening as the coins made their way through the machine and into the little return hatch.

"I may be reading between the lines here but I take it you're together?"

He froze slightly before slowly nodding, turning to him, "Yes sir."

The older man nodded, his brow furrowed as he tried to take in this new information.

"I'm surprised she hadn't said anything to us," he mused somewhat vacantly, "I mean, I can understand her not telling us about Richard but any other boyfriend she's always-"

"We hadn't told many people," he cut in, not wanting to sound harsh but really not wanting to think about Richard or any other of her exes just now.

"Oh."

Chandler wet his lips, bending down to retrieve his candy bar, playing with it in his hands as he straightened up and waited to see if the older man was going to expand on his comment.

"Well, I'm glad she's got someone like you," Jack concluded and Chandler raised his eyebrows slightly surprised.

He eventually settled on, "Thank you,"

"Just promise me you'll look after her, not just now with all this going on but in general."

"Always," he swallowed, trying to forget how he hadn't looked after her this morning, trying not to think about her being in hospital because of a stupid tennis match and subsequent fight.

"Good, I know I'm biased but she's a special one."

"I agree," he tried to offer the other man a sincere smile, "very special."

Her father nodded in mutual understanding just as Chandler caught sight of the nurse heading towards the waiting room.

"Nurse?" Chandler asked, hurrying over to her. "Any news on Monica Geller?"

"The doctor has finished running the tests," she smiled kindly at him, "she's still awake if you wanted to resume your spot in your chair."

"Thanks," he nodded eagerly, beaming at her as she walked away.

He turned to Jack, studying him and trying to work out the best course of action. He desperately wanted to tell Monica about the baby before her parents got in there. What if they said only 2 visitors? What if-

"Go," Jack smiled at him in an almost fatherly way. "I'll take the long way back to collect Judy, so you can have a few minutes alone with her."

A genuine smile spread across Chandler's face as he met his eyes and clapped his arm, "Thank you."

With that he practically ran back to Monica's room, stopping as he reached the closed door. He took a deep breath, trying to rehearse what he'd say to her as trepidation started to fill him. How was he meant to tell her this amazing news...knowing that there was a strong chance of them losing it? She'd always wanted to be a mom and she might have it ripped away before they even left here.

Chandler brushed a hand through his hair, he had no idea what he'd tell her but he couldn't waste any more time. She needed him to be in there with her and she needed him to tell her this alone without her parents watching. And he needed to see her, needed to see her reassuring smile, knowing it would be enough to ease some of the doubts.

Entering the room he couldn't help but smile as she turned to look directly at him, meeting his eyes and offering him the smile he'd so desperately needed.

She was ok.

"Hey," she croaked as he came and reclaimed his chair, his fingers trailing across her cheek as he leaned forward and gave her a gentle peck of a kiss.

"Hey," he whispered, beaming back. "Did you miss me?"

"Always. I'm glad you're back," she admitted and he took her hand in his, squeezing it a little.

"Me too," he promised, studying her face, knowing he couldn't put into words how much he'd miss her and what she meant to him, although he couldn't dwell on that right now. "Mon," he said quietly turning a little more serious, "There's something I, uh need to talk to you about."

"Now?" she frowned, picking up on the change of mood. "If you're breaking up with me, I've gotta tell you it's pretty crappy timing."

He let out a little puff of a surprised laugh, pleased that she was strong enough to joke. "Never," he promised her.

She smiled back, "So what is it?"

"Ok," he took a deep breath, trying to keep the smile on his face. He needed to remember this was good news, great news no matter the outcome. No matter what happened they had made a little life together and it deserved to be celebrated.

"Chandler?"

"Sorry, ok, see I wanted to be the one to tell you," he met her eyes, drawing strength from the blue depths. "I...you..." he swallowed as he tried to form the words. In the end he decided to go with simple, honest. "Mon, you're pregnant."

He watched her face as it went through the different emotions. She frowned slightly, as if not understanding the words. Then her eyes widened in surprise and shocked delight as a disbelieving smile spread across her face.

"Seriously?" she choked out as he beamed back happily.

"Yep, we made a baby," his eyes creased as he smiled at her, watching her carefully still.

"Oh my...I can't believe..." suddenly a frown came over her face and he bit his lip waiting for the inevitable. "Is it ok? I mean has he or she been hurt by all this?"

He swallowed, his smile dimming as he grimaced, "Maybe," he eventually admitted, "they don't know anything for sure yet, they're still running tests and stuff."

She nodded but he could see the fear clouding her eyes.

"They're doing the best they can, Monica," he promised watching as her hand fell to her flat belly. His hand came and covered hers, his thumb caressing the smooth skin, "It's gonna be ok."

"I just…I had no idea…I mean if I'd known I'd never had…"

"Shh, I know, me too," he reassured her gently, understanding the guilt all too well, "but we didn't know, it's not our fault ok? But now that we do know the important thing is we're going to do everything we can from now on to help. We can't change the past, so like Phoebe keeps preaching to us we need to keep the hope alive. We have to believe it's strong and willing to fight. I mean it's half Geller right?"

He was relieved to see a start of a smile as she nodded.

"Yeah, I guess. I just can't believe...wait, you're ok with it?" she asked surprised as the situation dawned on her. "I mean a baby? I thought you'd freak out and-"

"Maybe under normal circumstances I may have freaked just a _little_ ," he agreed, though a smile touched his lips knowing she understood what an understatement it was. He loved how well she knew him and yet so much had changed since all this had started. He'd changed, grown up quicker than he thought possible. "But I've learned a lot from today and yeah sure, it's way earlier than anticipated but I really want this little...nugget to survive."

"Nugget?" she asked clearly amused as he patted her tummy gently.

"Eh, it's a work in progress, we can always change the name," he teased, loving the sparkle that was back in her eyes.

She chuckled, a sound that filled his heart with so much warmth he thought it might burst; he couldn't remember ever feeling this way before. Again he was floored by the amount of love he felt for this amazing woman and their little 'nugget'. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions and he knew it wasn't over yet, not by a long shot but they were together and together he was pretty damn confident they could face anything.

"I love you," he murmured, his eyes welling up as he leaned forward to press a desperate kiss to her lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Chandler."

* * *

A/N- het guys, so sorry for a) the stupidly long delay and b) how stupidly short this chapter is. I originally wanted to post the epilogue at the end of this chapter to round it all off nicely but I'm struggling with it. Therefore I thought it I post this chunk up now at least you have something to read while you wait for me to finish the last bit (which I will)!

Thank you for your patience and all the lovely reviews and comments. They are great for motivation! :o)


	5. Chapter 5

~o0o Epilogue - 8-9 months later o0o~

* * *

"Seriously?" Chandler asked, his eyebrows touching his hairline. "I mean...seriously?"

"Yup, there were 3 of them and 1 of me," he told him more than a little smug.

"That's just-" Chandler shook his head, unable to even fathom his ex-roommate's antics.

Chandler had moved out a couple of months back to move in with Monica, both of them wanting to live together not just because of being in love and all that jazz, but also because they wanted to raise their child together. Against all the odds their little nugget had survived and each scan had reassured the nervous parents-to-be that the baby was indeed a fighter. The doctors still warned them there was a higher chance of something going wrong but they were determined to support each other, hold on and keep the hope alive.

"I know, right?" Joey smiled proudly from where he sat in the single barcalounger, a dirty chuckle escaping his lips. "It was awesome."

"I bet," Chandler shook his head in disbelief, loving that even though him and Rachel had swapped apartments, he could still hang here with Joey and have some 'guy time'. And something he'd noticed recently was that he was no longer jealous of Joey's adventures, not at all. He could have as many girls doing to him whatever he wanted...the bottom line was Chandler had Monica and that all he cared about.

Monica and their upcoming baby.

His upcoming family.

"How did you even manage to-?"

His line of questioning was cut short as Ross suddenly burst into apartment 19, out of breath, gasping and grasping onto the fridge for support as he doubled over.

"Cramp," he wheezed.

Chandler shared a look with Joey before standing up, cautiously approaching their friend.

"Ross?" Chandler prompted, starting to get concerned at the panicked expression on the other man's face, "What's the matter?"

"Monica," he panted and Chandler froze, his stomach tightening painfully.

"Monica what?" he asked as fear flooded through him as he started to think of all the terrible scenarios that could possibly finish the sentence. "Ross?" he demanded not letting him catch his breath. "What is it?"

"Water…everywhere…gunk.." he pulled a disgusted face. "So gross…."

"Her waters broke?" he interpreted.

"Yeah, that," Ross nodded, straightening and looking a little sheepish.

Chandler was momentarily relieved that she hadn't had some kind of accident but then the realization of what had actually happened slowly dawned on him.

Her waters had broke.

Their baby was coming.

He was going to get to meet their miracle baby.

He turned, staring wide eyed at Joey and then back to Ross before he was able to form any words.

"Oh. My. God."

"It's happening," Joey cheered excitedly. "You're gonna be a dad."

"I'm gonna be a dad," he echoed, feelings of excitement and fear crashing through him in equal measures.

This was it.

He stood there stunned.

"You're gonna be a single dad if you don't hurry up and join her," Ross prompted him.

Right. Crap.

With that he snapped into action, running to the apartment door, his arms flailing as he threw it open, only to hurriedly turn and run back to them, "Wait is she ok? Where is she? Has any phoned the hospital? Have they got cabs ready? Has she-?"

"Chandler," Ross interrupted, his breathing almost back under control. "She's fine, she's downstairs at the coffee house, the girls are with her and organizing cabs and Gunther's condemning the couch. Everything's under control. Just get ready."

"Ok, ok that's good," he agreed before turning sharply and running back through the door, across the hallway and into his and Monica's apartment.

He ran passed the couch, jumping over the footstool and headed directly to the nursery, which used to be Rachel's room. For once he didn't stop to gaze at the waiting wooden cot or the freshly painted light yellow walls like he did most nights with Monica in his embrace before they went to bed. Instead he only had eyes for the neatly-packed hospital bag that sat on the new shiny rocking chair which proudly stood in the corner of the room.

Grabbing the bag and haphazardly throwing it over his shoulders he ran from the room, praying that the next time he was back here he'd be bringing back a healthy baby and a healthy Monica. It had to go ok, there was no other option. Not letting his thoughts linger on any negativity he instead forced himself to take a deep breath and to be calm, confident even.

It would be what Monica and his child needed and that's all that mattered right now.

When he emerged he was pleased to see both Joey and Ross anxiously waiting in the hallway and with a clap on the shoulder and encouraging smiles they together made it down the stairs.

"Hey!" Phoebe greeted them as she held the door open for a stumbling and struggling Rachel who was trying to support a stumbling and staggering Monica.

Chandler was there in an instant.

"Can I?" Chandler asked, indicating taking her place at Monica's side and Rachel was quick to agree, taking the bag from him as a trade off.

His arm gently curved around her back as he encouraged her to lay hers across his shoulders and she smiled at him gratefully. Slowly, carefully he helped to maneuver her closer to the waiting cabs.

"You ok?" he whispered and she nodded although her face showed signs of pain. "You're doing great, Mon, just perfect, ok."

"Thanks," she murmured. "Did you get the bag?"

"Yep, everything's under control. The only thing you have to focus on is you and the baby. We're gonna be parents."

The smile that was directed at him was wide and beautiful and he returned it fully, letting his love be communicated without words.

Carefully he helped Monica into the cab, before he jumped in, Phoebe following, claiming as she had been through labor 3 times she was the ideal person to accompany them. Chandler just shrugged, he didn't care. All he cared about was getting to the hospital.

As they made the familiar journey he halfheartedly listened to Phoebe, although he was mainly focusing on Monica and trying to ignore the doubts that were edging into his mind. Trying to stop his thoughts turning dark and going back 8 months ago when he had almost lost them both. Trying to stop himself reliving the overwhelming emotion of utter helplessness he'd felt during that nightmare.

No.

He had to remember that he hadn't lost them and he wasn't going to lose them now.

He had to stay strong, calm and focused.

He had to keep the hope in his heart that they would be ok, more than ok.

As Monica groaned, he grabbed her hand, letting her crush his. He winced but wasn't stupid enough to complain, knowing she was going through a helluva lot worse.

"You're doing great, honey," he praised, "really good."

"It hurts," she admitted, her face pained.

"I know," he sighed in sympathy, wishing he could do more, "but it's gonna be so so worth it, Mon. We're going to meet our little baby and I'm going to be with you the whole time. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded gratefully, squeezing his hand a lot gentler and he smiled back.

The rest of the ride was a blur as was the hustle and bustle of arriving at the hospital and getting her into a wheelchair. Before he knew it she was in the hospital bed hooked to various monitors and nurses were talking centimeters and dilatation and commenting that she was moving along very quickly,

Suddenly she was ready to push.

Chandler found the whole birthing experience surreal and so unlike anything else he'd ever experienced. It was so horrible to see Monica in so much pain when he couldn't help other than to offer encouraging words and hold the gas and air mouthpiece. But at the same time he couldn't wait. There was an equal measure of fear, anticipation and excitement about what would happen in this room.

As Monica pushed, he gave her his hand to squeeze again, his other wiping the hair off her forehead.

"Come on you can do this, Mon," he praised, "You can do this."

As with anything Monica was determined to see the challenge of child birth through like any challenge set her. Phoebe had earlier mentioned within Monica's earshot that she had managed it 3 times and it wasn't _that_ hard. Chandler had hid his grin, knowing she was doing it just to ignite that competitiveness spirit in his girlfriend and was now very grateful to their devious blond friend as it seemed to have worked.

"God, Chandler," she panted, closing her eyes as the doctors told her to wait for the next contraction to do the final push.

"You're doing so well," he promised. "You're doing amazing. You're almost there. One more push and we're going to meet our special little baby. One more push, Mon, you can do it, I know you can."

She nodded, her face screwing up in pain, which Chandler knew meant it was time. Again he squeezed her hand, offering soft words of encouragement as the nurses and doctor's instructions got louder and more urgent, telling her to push hard, to really go for it. The noises that came from Monica were stabbing his heart but then suddenly there was another sound healing his heart; crying. Crying from a tiny pair of lungs filling the air.

She'd done it.

"Congratulations, you have a baby girl," the doctor declared with a smile.

Tears sprung instantly to his eyes as his chest swelled with pride and happiness as he desperately pressed a kiss to Monica's sweaty forehead.

"You did it, you did it," he murmured, "I'm so proud of you, honey, so proud. You were brilliant."

Her watery eyes beamed back at him until moments later their little bundle was wrapped in a yellow blanket and placed on her chest.

"Oh my god," Monica whispered, her hands naturally curving around her to support their little girl.

"She's beautiful," Chandler murmured in awe, staring down at her in amazement. He remembered Ross trying to describe what he'd felt when Ben was born and now it made perfect sense. He already knew he'd do anything for this little person that he loved so much it actually hurt. "God, I...she looks like you, Monica."

He reached forward, a single finger delicately stroking her tiny cheek as lightly as he dared. Her skin was so soft and warm. He could stay like this and stare at her forever, she was incredible.

"Congratulations," the doctor told them as he approached.

"Is she ok?" Chandler asked, his throat tightening. "Healthy?"

"So far so good," the doctor reassured them. "I'll give you a while longer with her and then we'll run some more in depth tests."

Chandler nodded, sharing a look with Monica. Before all this started he couldn't believe the number of different tests that could be run. The baby moved slightly and both their attentions went straight back to her. She was just perfect and he hoped that the tests agreed.

"I can't believe we made her," he murmured still choked with so many emotions.

"I know," Monica nodded, still staring down at her.

"Little Emma," Chandler smiled. When Monica didn't say anything he shot her a quick look, "What?"

"I'm not sure if Emma suits her," she admitted chewing her lips.

"Really?" Chandler asked surprised, it had been Monica's chosen name since high school and he'd happily gone along with it.

"It's just not quite...right," she tried to explain. "She doesn't look like an Emma."

"Ok," he shrugged easily, happy to support her, "If not Emma then..."

"I don't know," she admitted, "I've always wanted Emma but..."

"Shh, it's ok," he soothed, "We'll find her a name and it'll be perfect for her. There's no rush, in the meantime we can go back to calling her nugget."

She chuckled and nodded gratefully at him, resting her head back against his shoulder, "Thanks Chandler."

"Thank _you_ for delivering this little person," he retorted, still unable to believe that this little person was finally here. "You were unbelievable, Monica."

"I couldn't have done it without you," she promised him. "I can't believe we finally have our baby."

They stared at their little miracle for what felt like only minutes before an apologetic nurse approached.

"I'm sorry but we really need to run those tests now to make sure everything is ok."

Chandler nodded helping as Monica carefully handed the precious bundle over to her.

"Does she have a name yet?" The nurse asked as she expertly took her from them.

They shared a knowing look before he answered, "No, not yet."

The nurse nodded before leaving and Monica smiled tiredly at him.

"What happened to nugget?" she teased and he grinned back.

"I didn't think we'd want it to appear on the hospital tag," he chuckled, watching affectionately as she yawned again. "I can't believe you just did that, Mon, you actually gave birth. Just then."

"I know, believe me," she smiled contently before yawning again.

"Rest," Chandler told her gently, leaning over to press a lingering kiss to her forehead. "Rest now while you can. I'll go update the others."

"Ok, thanks," she agreed easily, her eyes already closing.

Smiling tenderly he watched her sleep for just a moment, letting the feelings of love and amazement fill him. With a warm heart he practically skipped into the waiting room, amused that the conversation stopped immediately as all eyes turned to him in anticipation as they all stood up simultaneously.

"We have our baby," he announced, unable to stop the wide smile plastered on his face as they all cheered. "It's a little girl."

"Oh Chandler!"

He got pulled into a group hug from his friends and even Monica's parents joined in, although they hovered at the back.

"Our first granddaughter," Judy declared proudly and Jack pulled her close.

"How's Monica doing?" Ross asked.

"Good, she's just resting."

"I'm not surprised, she's not been sleeping great lately," Phoebe commented to which he nodded.

Whilst Monica had loved most aspects of her pregnancy and tried to enjoy it, these last few weeks had been tough on her.

"I can't believe you guys are parents," Joey grinned excitedly, "and I'm an uncle!"

"Joey you're already an uncle to all your sisters' children," Rachel pointed out to which he dismissed with a wave of a hand.

"Not the same," he muttered.

"Have you got a name for her?" Jack asked.

"We're working on it," he smiled, "but for now it's between nugget and baby girl."

"Oooh go with nugget," Phoebe exclaimed excitedly. "Baby girl sounds a bit like a hooker name."

"Right," he nodded as he snorted.

"How are you holding up?" Ross asked and Chandler smiled, unable to believe how different it all was from last time. Last time when they were all waiting for news on Monica and were praying for a miracle. Well, now they had that miracle.

"Really good," he flashed him a grin. "Monica was just amazing and my daughter..." he paused the word sounding alien and yet right at the same time coming from his lips. "My daughter is perfect. She's beautiful and...just so...you'll be able to see her once they've finished doing their tests."

He stayed with them a while longer, soaking up their excited vibes before he headed back to Monica's room, silently taking a seat beside her as he let the reality slowly sink in. He had a daughter. They had a daughter, together.

He could scarcely comprehend it.

However, it wasn't long before the nurse appeared with his sleeping girl; she was real and very much alive. She gently placed her into his arms, before whispering the test results in his ear. He grinned happily, thanking her quietly as he stared down at his tiny baby, trying to memorize her perfect little face and button nose. She was damn cute even if he said so himself.

The unnamed baby made a little sound and he sushed her gently, "Shh little nugget, you're ok. Daddy's here with you."

He gently rocked her, smiling down at her until he eventually felt another pair of eyes on him. Raising his gaze he looked up to the bed, smiling as he met his gorgeous girlfriend's eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he greeted as he carefully stood up, still rocking their little girl.

"Hey," she smiled back, sitting up and shuffling over a little before he laid the baby in her arms. "God, she's really perfect isn't she?"

"Yep, she's definitely got your looks," he complemented as he scooted his butt up onto the bed beside her.

His arm went over her shoulders, gently kissing the top of her head, nuzzling her hair before looking down at their new girl.

"Have they got the test results?" she asked, "Is she ok?"

"Yeah, she's spot on" he informed her, a lump in his throat. "No issues or complications. Everything's fine and as it should be. She even got 9 out of 10 on her APGAR," he told her proudly.

"What did she fail on?"

"Grimace," he shrugged unperturbed.

"Grimace?" she frowned.

"Yeah, she was supposed to grimace when they touched her with something cold; as if that's gonna keep her from medical school right?"

"Right," she smiled, one of her hands coming up to gently stroke the child's face. "I'm so glad she's ok."

"Me too," he swallowed, so glad that the best case scenario had played out. "See, I told you her Geller genes would get her through this."

"I'm sure the Bing genes played a big part in making sure she didn't take the tests too seriously," she joked and he chuckled kissing her again.

He loved the idea that this little girl was part of both his and Monica's DNA. The two of them were so balanced with one another in real life, that he couldn't wait to see whose characteristics and mannerisms she took on.

"Mon," he said quietly, staring down at their baby's tiny little face. "I know I should probably wait for a less emotional time and when all the drugs are fully out of your system but I can't wait. Marry me?"

He felt her jerk in his arms as she looked up at him.

"What?" she asked, her lips curving into a disbelieving smile.

"Marry me," he repeated, meeting her shocked blue eyes. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I love her too, so much that it's crazy. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else, you're my best friend, my rock and now you're the mother of my baby. I want you to become my wife more than anything. I want the three of us to be a proper little family, together."

Tears came to her eyes and he waited for her to say something, anything as his gut tightened in anticipation.

"Yes!" she cried as tears came to his own eyes. "Yes, I can't believe...this is officially the best day ever."

He chuckled deeply, as his free hand reached into his pants pocket to pull out the diamond ring he'd been carrying around for the last few months.

"You can say that again," he agreed, tears blurring his vision as he slipped it onto her shaking hand. "Look nugget, your mommy and daddy are engaged."

Monica laughed, tears still running down her cheeks as she alternated between looking at her ring, her future husband and her baby.

"You know, we still need to name her before nugget sticks."

"Any ideas?" he asked as he reached over to stroke the nameless baby's little hand that had escaped from the blanket, playing with her incredibly small fingers.

"No," she sighed. "Maybe we should buy a baby name book or something?"

"Maybe, although I kinda had one suggestion," he shrugged looking a little uncomfortable.

She looked up at him encouragingly, "Yeh?"

"Yeah," he wet his lips, "Hope."

"Hope?" she tested the name.

"I just thought it was quite symbolic given everything she went through to get here and how much hope she's given us," he shrugged a little embarrassed, "but I guess it's silly and-"

"No," she shook her head, cutting off his doubts, "I like it. I think it's really suits her. Hope."

They looked down at Hope, watching as she shuffled slightly, seeming content.

"Hope it is then," he grinned, tightening his embrace around his girls.

He couldn't believe what a day it had been. It had been such a long and scary journey, one he'd never imagined he'd go on but every step they'd taken along the road had been well worth it to get to today. In just 24 hours he had gained a beautiful daughter and a beautiful fiancee.

Chandler knew there would be more challenges to face as this new chapter in their lives began but he was confident and optimistic and couldn't wait to start the rest of their lives with Hope.

The End

* * *

A/N- I hope you enjoyed it and was worth the earlier angst! Thank you again so much for your amazing responses to this story. It really helped my motivation throughout – you guys truly rock.

As a side note studio 60 fans may notice I stole the grimace bit! I love that episode.

Let me know what you thought and hopefully I'll be posting something again soon. I still have oneshots, longer fics and a joint one I'm working on :o)


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